George's Christmas
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Mario and friends try to make sense of the holidays


It was a snowy December night in Smashville and many a fighter was asleep in their nice warm beds.

However, George wasn't. George was awake in bed, eyes wide with anticipation for Father Christmas to come barging in and deliver everyone stellar gifts.

"I do not want that man near my homeland though..." said George.

Mario overheard George's anxiety from the other side of the town. He quickly made his way over, two spaghetti-flavoured eggnogs in hand. He rushed up to the door and knocked the solid mahogany with his strong nose.

George opened the door like one would open their heart to love. He saw Mario with his eyes like one would when searching for clues that Shaggy was too scared to find with his great dane.

"Dang," said George, studying the shirtless plumber wondering where his magnificent red fabric was. He wondered if their prowess could create syzygies. He brought his pet moose Homer over to investigate the ordeal. Each antler thought thoughtfully about the muscular mass of mood and marvel.

"Refrain from your questioning," said Mario. He popped the top off of his nog and downed it in one go. George was very amazed by Mario's esophagus. "Today is laundry day and what is your issue, George?"

"Mario, I have an urge to stay awakened all throughout the night 'til the blessed morn," admitted George with slight shame. "I do not want Father Christmas in our beautiful village. I think he is a dork."

"Yes, you have a strange predicament at your hands, feet, and right eyelid." Mario stroked his eleventh beard and brought his cape out. "Shall I fly you around the town and show you the wonderment of the holiday season?"

George was reluctant at first, but he could not deny how pulchritudinous Mario's holiday speech was. He boarded the cape and flew with Mario to the Zelda house. Inside, they saw three Links linking Lincoln log to the links. They were on the 18th hole, to be precise.

"That is so totes festive," said George.

Mario nodded in agreement. "Isn't it?"

Luigi was out for his evening constitutional and caught an eyeful of his brother's marvelous hat. He gasped at the powerful sight, choking on his Big Mac. He then saw George, gasped a second time, and choked on his Little Mac.

Little Mac tried his hardest to escape from the green confines. He eventually did and asked Mario and George questions questioningly.

"I need to show George the true meaning of Christmas," said Mario, brushing his thick mustache with his unbreakable comb that he received from his father for Starfish Day last week.

Little Mac agreed with this solid deed that Mario was attempting. He took George by the hand and brought him to the Kirby house. Inside, they saw Kirby and Meta Knight playing a game of cards while drinking hot chocolate. Dedede was on the sofa, binge-watching reruns of "X-Men vs. Dudes" on HBO this Tuesday.

"That is very kind of Dedede's eyes to peer into the orderly successions of Hollywood, Marvel, and Tuesday," observed George.

Little Mac began to since that "Fahoo-Yahoo" song from the Grinch movie or whatever. He took out his magic compass and flew away. However, Little Mac was bad at aerial movement and fell into the blastzone and was in dire need of a funeral very shortly afterward. Mewtwo was there to laugh at the misfortune because who wouldn't? It's Mac.

George was deeply saddened. He did not understand the true meaning of Christmas and he still thoroughly despised the fat red guy who invaded his house every 25th of December. He sighed and went back home.

"Good evening, lad," said a magic fellow. It was Ridley with a red suit and a white beard. He held out a wrapped gift to George.

"Why are you bestowing this trinket upon me?" asked George. "I do not deserve it because I immensely dislike you and your ugly face."

Ridley laughed and slapped his belly, which did not shake like a bowl full of jelly because he was slimmer than the chances of Gex getting into Smash. "I gave you a present because the true meaning of Christmas is not about fighting and selfishness. It is about love and family."

"I understand now," said George. He then pulled out his Death's Scythe and slashed Ridley with it. Ridley was annihilated beyond comprehension. Everyone in Smashville heard the unholy shriek of terror as it filled the night sky most ominously.

George smiled at what he had done. He had saved Christmas by destroying commercialism and purple dragon scum.

Diddy saw this event unfold from the Galapagos Islands where he and his DK were staying on vacation.

"What see you, Little Bud?" asked his DK.

"Shut up, mine owned product," said Diddy, waggling a finger as a warning. "Can you not espy that I am concentrating on the heinous actions that George has just commited?"

"Who is George?" asked his DK.

"I haven't a clue..." replied Diddy. He took his peanut popgun, aimed at a whale, and did very illegal things.

**THE END**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS**


End file.
